This is a contributed post from Ellie Jo.
You can’t always save a relationship. There will be times for a marriage where divorce is the right answer because things have reached the point of no return. One spouse could have been abusive or toxic. If you are about to proceed through a divorce you need to avoid some of the common disasters. Here are the key steps you should take.
Speak To Your Partner
Next, you need to make sure that you are speaking to your partner before divorce proceedings begin. The reason for this is that you should try and agree to keep things amicable where you can.
This is particularly important if you have children. In some cases, you will be able to keep the divorce out of a courtroom. But this is far from a guarantee. At the very least, you should try and ensure that both you and your partner will agree to keep things civil. It’s vital that you try and avoid a nasty legal battle if you can.
Just because you have fallen out of love with your partner, does not mean that they have as well. They might still love you, which means that they will find it harder to accept that you want to divorce.
You might be questioning your marriage. Maybe now is the time to decide if you should stay or if you should go. Divorce should never be your first answer to relationship issues. Being in a relationship takes time and you need to see if you can mend the broken pieces first.
If there is no solution to your failing marriage, then it’s time to talk about divorce. However, it’s important that you can talk about this calmly, particularly if children are involved. If you become hot-headed, then this might make a co-parenting relationship tough in the future.
Obviously telling your partner that you want a divorce is difficult, but you can do a few things, like picking the right location, not blaming them, and not talking in a hopeful manner that your marriage can be saved. You don’t want to create false hope.
Know Your Budget
While there are ways to limit the cost of divorce proceedings, it’s always going to be an expensive endeavor. That’s why you need to make sure that you need to think about your budget and how much money you have available to spend.
Obviously, you will be hoping to claim a solid portion of the assets during the divorce. But you do need to work out how much you will be able to pay your attorney. You may also want to explore different credit avenues.
Keep The Kids Out Of It
Finally, if you have children, you need to make sure that they are away from the divorce proceedings as much as possible. Your divorce is always going to be a stressful experience for them. You need to mitigate the damage here. They should never feel as though they are being used as a pawn by you or your partner.
This is one of the things that you agree on when you speak to your partner before you proceed with divorce proceedings. Remember, the best lawyer will ensure that the interests of the child are always firmly in mind.
Consider Additional Help
There’s no shame in needing more help when it comes to divorce. Even in the most amicable of splits, they can still be tricky to navigate. There are so many things to consider. From the splitting of assets to the custody of children. Nothing ever seems to be quite as straightforward as you might like it to be.
If you’re unable to settle the divorce outside of the courtroom, consider approaching a family law firm. You might be hesitant at first. Particularly because hiring lawyers can incur additional charges and even add time to the proceedings. But they’ll get the job done if you’re having trouble alone.
The beauty of hiring an attorney is that you automatically have someone on your side. They’ll work hard to ensure your best interests are achieved in the divorce. And they’re worth the extra money you might pay for them.
First, you should make sure that you do choose the right lawyer for your divorce. Don’t end up in a situation where you have a lawyer that you can’t trust to deliver the high quality service you need. If you have any doubt about the effectiveness of your lawyer, then you may want to research a top local law firm.
Most law firms do provide free consultations. This means that you can get a feel for the service before you commit to hiring them for the job. That’s important as you need to make sure that you are comfortable with the person who is going to be representing you in court.
Hire a Process Server
If you have been able to talk to your partner about getting a divorce, hopefully, they will behave amicably. Then you can get it all sorted without a problem. However, more often than not, some people don’t want to get a divorce for some reason or another.
They are trained to deal with difficult people and can help find people who don’t want to be found. They know what can and can’t be done, so at least you know that you’ll be following the law. This is just a nice quick and easy way to get things sorted, particularly when people are being difficult.
We hope this helps you understand some of the disasters that you can experience during divorce proceedings and the best way to avoid them completely. By exploring the right options here, you can stop a divorce from becoming a complete nightmare as well as the end of your relationship.
Erin is the mother of identical twin girls and their slightly older brother. She is a domestic engineer, and previously had a career leading customer service teams for a major HVAC company. Cleaning without harsh chemicals, and cooking easy and usually healthy meals are part of Erin's daily life. She volunteers with youth leaders, and genuinely wants to help others win. Erin has a degree in Communications, with a focus on Broadcast Journalism.