This is a collaborative post by Elli Jo about things to help you when you are in trouble.
We have all been in trouble from time to time. Some are in more trouble than others and sometimes is severe enough to need bail bonds or lawyers. We don’t always deserve the amount of trouble we get into, but the fact is, most of the time it is down to us to fix it. There are a few ways that you can try and smooth things over.
What To Do When You Are in Trouble
If you know that you are in the wrong, then it is time to be honest. Things get much worse when people feel like they aren’t in possession of all of the facts, or are being lied to. So try to be honest as much as you can, of course, some things will hurt to hear. But honesty is the best policy.
It might be tempting to argue your case or feel very defensive but try not too. People are going to lash out when they are hurt, and you might feel under attack. But try to refrain from snapping back.
Nonverbal signals will dictate a lot of how someone will act towards you. If you are soft and open, you are open to the discussion. Try to maintain eye contact as much as you can. When you know you are in the wrong, it can be hard to face up to it, but giving them eye contact is showing them that you are engaged in the conversation.
It can be very difficult to put your feelings into words. Often when you have made a mistake, you are filled with guilt and remorse. Those feelings build up over time, turning into stress and upset. So try and find the words you are looking for, take your time if you can. Try not to go for the ‘you made me feel.’ This will usually cause an adverse reaction from the other party. Try to own your feelings.
If you fully understand what you are sorry for, or any damage that you have caused then apologize for it. Saying sorry as a blanket isn’t going to work well for you or them. What a person is upset about might not be what you think. So through conversation trying to get to the matter at heart.
Often gestures like flowers and chocolates are felt as empty and as a way to try to forget about things. But, if you can think of something that you can do that will really make it up to them, then do it. Taking the initiative is really important. If you ask if you can do something, the answer is typically no.
In general, the sooner that you admit to your mistakes and don’t lie to get out of the repercussions, the better. Being open and honest, talking about what happened and why, how you feel and giving the other person the space to explain how they feel and why is going to help the situation be resolved as quickly as possible.