If you have ever had serious health issues, you know how tough it is to wait for test results. For me, I have anxiety before, during, and after the test. Every time the phone rings my heart rate doubles. The sight of my doctors name on the caller ID almost causes a heart attack. You may think I’m exaggerating, but really I’m not.
It all goes back to my first biopsy. After feeling a lump in my breast many doctors reassured me it was just a cyst. When I went to get the “cyst” drained, it wouldn’t drain and was no longer considered a cyst. The next day, I saw the doctor’s name on the caller id. Not a good sign. All I remember hearing is, “The biopsy shows abnormal cell growth.” And, “Yes, you have breast cancer.”
I get anxiety after every medical test I have now.
Last week, I had a colposcopy after a pap from a few months ago came back “slightly abnormal”. I was nervous a week before the test. During the test my legs were shaking so badly I’m surprised the doctor could even complete the exam. Friday, I was nervous every time the phone would ring. Yesterday, I was so stressed I took a Xanax during the middle of the day to calm me down. I think the last time I took one was maybe a year ago.
Today around 10am the phone rang and the caller id displayed my doctor’s name. I almost couldn’t breathe. Two days after a biopsy and the doctor is calling?
Luckily, my doctor got straight to the point. No small talk. The test came back normal. Nothing showed up in the biopsy. I thought for a minute I might collapse.
Have you ever had an extremely stressful event or emergency and then when it’s all over you feel wiped out? You probably know how I felt then.
I know I should be relaxed now, but I still feel like I’m coming down from that adrenaline high. It might take some time. The last week has been extremely stressful awaiting the test and the results.
I’m curious. Those of you that have had cancer or other serious medical issues do you still get anxious after every test? Does it ever get better?
