If you have ever had serious health issues, you know how tough it is to wait for test results. For me, I have anxiety before, during, and after the test. Every time the phone rings my heart rate doubles. The sight of my doctors name on the caller ID almost causes a heart attack. You may think I’m exaggerating, but really I’m not.
It all goes back to my first biopsy. After feeling a lump in my breast many doctors reassured me it was just a cyst. When I went to get the “cyst” drained, it wouldn’t drain and was no longer considered a cyst. The next day, I saw the doctor’s name on the caller id. Not a good sign. All I remember hearing is, “The biopsy shows abnormal cell growth.” And, “Yes, you have breast cancer.”
I get anxiety after every medical test I have now.
Last week, I had a colposcopy after a pap from a few months ago came back “slightly abnormal”. I was nervous a week before the test. During the test my legs were shaking so badly I’m surprised the doctor could even complete the exam. Friday, I was nervous every time the phone would ring. Yesterday, I was so stressed I took a Xanax during the middle of the day to calm me down. I think the last time I took one was maybe a year ago.
Today around 10am the phone rang and the caller id displayed my doctor’s name. I almost couldn’t breathe. Two days after a biopsy and the doctor is calling?
Luckily, my doctor got straight to the point. No small talk. The test came back normal. Nothing showed up in the biopsy. I thought for a minute I might collapse.
Have you ever had an extremely stressful event or emergency and then when it’s all over you feel wiped out? You probably know how I felt then.
I know I should be relaxed now, but I still feel like I’m coming down from that adrenaline high. It might take some time. The last week has been extremely stressful awaiting the test and the results.
I’m curious. Those of you that have had cancer or other serious medical issues do you still get anxious after every test? Does it ever get better?
Hi Rachel,
My closest experience with cancer has been with my dad and with Gaby’s dad and I know how they felt about test results. It is normal that something you’ve had such an emotional rolercoaster with causes some extreme tension. It’s curious you mention this today, the first time I met Doug (Ulman) he was going to get his next 6 month checkup at MD Anderson in a few days and he told me how nervous he always got closer to the day every time (despite of years of being cancer free).
While I think it will get better as time goes on, I do not know if this feeling gets to be completely easy and carefree as one would hope. I know that meditation and a deep trust in life may help a bit and also the reference of knowing that you have had a few tests done and they all show normal will give you some extra legs to back up the fact that most likely you will be healthy from now on.
Sending you a big hug and so happy things are sailing smoothly my friend!
-Bernardo
Hi Rachel,
I watched your videos and cried. I am so happy that you are doing well. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2011 and am half way through chemo. I am 39 and I have 2 girls (5 and 2.5). I know what you mean about anxiety. I never thought it is possible to be so afraid. My friend who had breast cancer 2 years ago says that it gets better overtime. I hope so. I cried because our stories are so similar and because you are brave and because your story is life affirming. I am going to try to be more brave like you.
Seriously……..someone said they got a call from the Dr the NEXT day
If I haven’t hada call that quick do you reckon that I am home free.
If I was bad they would have called sooner.
I had a mammogram due to having a huge golf ball sized lump in my left breast and within 20 minutes the doctor came in and said you have breast cancer. No biopsy had been done yet and I had no family members with me at this time. So there was no wait or phone call. It was very traumatic.. Although the wait for that call after my biopsy was awful. Noone was home with me when I got the call saying I had Stage IV IDC.
I’m with you on the freak out train, i have anemia and other health issues that every blood test I’m having freaking out whether its OK or if they r going to have give transfusion. Then my mind is reeling how long i might be in hospital, who is gonna take of kids, and so on. Ive also had several tumors removed but they were benign thankfully but since cervical cancer already took my close relative, I’m always nervous going 4 pap. Tho when i know its coming, I do reach out 2 support group – community, friends&fam that helps subside my anxiety. So I don’t need 2 have a panic attack b4 i even get news. Reaching out helps me