This is a post by Manuel about relationships.
Even the most confident extrovert can develop cold feet and sweaty palms when it’s time to start a conversation with someone they like.
This isn’t an unusual occurrence as a study has revealed that most men and women who can converse with anyone can’t do so with the people they feel attracted to.
So how does one overcome this nail-biting situation to eventually secure even a date with someone you like?
With good examples, here’s how to start a conversation with someone you like without doing too much.
1. Pick the Right Time
Time is crucial in helping your crush feel comfortable during your conversation. Pick a time you know they’d be free to have a meaningful discussion. For instance, maybe during their lunchtime when they’re not in the middle of work. Or, at the end of a program or a party.
Times like these would give you ample moment to talk for a reasonable period, allowing you the opportunity to know a little more about each other.
2. Work on your Appearance
Appearance can be so alluring or such a turn-off. Therefore, when attempting to converse with your crush, ensure you look presentable by wearing some nice perfume on clean clothes.
Additionally, maintain oral hygiene by staying off edibles with a strong smell. Use a mouth wash and chew gum for a couple of minutes before approaching your crush. This tip will give you a fresh breath throughout the conversation.
3. Use a Familiar Tone
Conversations can tilt towards boring and awkward if your tone is too official. So when attempting to strike a conversation with your crush, whom you barely know, endeavor to talk to them in a friendly manner.
Wear a calm and comfortable aura so they feel an air of warmth around you. This way, you’ll be encouraging them to communicate freely with you.
However, don’t sound overly familiar as it could rub off as being too forward.
4. Comment About your Environment
Social expert, Rick Harper says, “if people know that they can use what they see or feel about their surrounding environment to pass a funny or interesting comment, they’d be less worried about the first things to say to someone they’re just conversing with.”
Are you meeting in a restaurant, for instance? You can say something like, “I hope this place isn’t too cold for you,” or “I hope you like the vicinity as much as I do.”
If you want to be funny, you can say, “I’ve been here before but it never felt this cool.” This is sure to ignite their smile and is a great way to help them feel relaxed with you.
5. Talk About their Interests
When you can tell a person’s area of interest, it’s super easy to chat away with them. This is also true for someone you like. Discover their passions, career path, and recreation.
Not to stalk them, however, you can visit their social media pages to get a glimpse of this information.
For instance, if they’re enthusiastic about football or festivals, raise topics on that and see them go on and on about it with you.
The trick is to talk about this area of interest like you would with any friend who has similar ones.
Moreover, don’t act like you know too much about your crush, as this would make them feel uncomfortable.
6. Strike a Smile
Do you know that maintaining a smile on your face when talking to someone you like helps them to feel good about themselves? They may start to think that their presence excites you. This feeling would encourage them to want to be with you.
So use this strategy to endear your crush to you. Of course, you shouldn’t keep your teeth out the whole time. However, ensure that you wear a smile quite often during the conversation.
7. Be Respectful
When you’re conversing with someone you like especially for the first time, it’s important to make a good impression, as this will help them to enjoy thinking about you when it’s over. By being respectful, you can achieve this feat.
Research has revealed that first conversation is crucial in whether a person you like honors your invite for another date.
So use your chance well.
8. Say Something Nice About Them
It’s always a good idea when you choose to compliment a stranger or friend. Now saying something nice to someone you like will probably help you get their attention.
When complimenting your crush, ensure your compliments are honest and platonic so you don’t give a wrong idea about yourself.
You could say something like “you always look good.” Or, “fine shoes you’ve got there.” This will ignite a positive emotion in them. Moreover, talking about their smell, perfume, and body is out of the boundary, so you should refrain from doing so.
9. Get their Insight on a Topic
An effective way to keep a conversation going with someone you like is by asking them what they think about something relevant. This will give them the impression that you want to know them better and you respect their opinion.
However, ensure your questions border on their interest and would not arouse unnecessary arguments or emotions. Keep your inquiries simple and interesting.
10. Try to Give Them your Assistance
A good way to get another chance to talk to your crush is by being of help to them.
When conversing, if they happen to say something they need, perhaps have been searching for, you could step in by offering to help. Other simple ways to do this include, offering them a ride or lending them your item.
At the end of the day, you would have positioned yourself as a warm, nice, and friendly person. They’ll likely not have a second thought in speaking to you again.
11. Find a Connection with Them
It’s easy to talk at length about the things you both have a likeness for. Thus, try to find some similarities with your crush; it could be in your studies, work, background, or favorite activity.
For instance, if you both like a particular sport, aside from talking about it, you could ask them if they’d love to see that game or engage in it with you. If it’s a movie, you could offer to take them to the cinema.
Others could include their love for books or music. The list is endless. If you get this right, you could be setting yourself up for a date with your crush.
12. Be Original
While you may know who your crush is also crushing on, perhaps via their social media pages, it’s unwise to want to imitate them whether in their dressing or speech.
Instead, keep it as original as possible. Don’t try to use an accent you’re not conversant with, and don’t be extra while talking about yourself either. Also, don’t over-laugh at a joke, and don’t try so hard to be funny.
Moreover, don’t try to go overboard with being impressive.
Finally, try to live in the moment while conversing with the person you like. By paying attention, you would have a great discussion that’s worth reminiscing about. So, don’t worry about trying to be funny or interesting in the middle of the conversation. Only ensure to practice all the above tips before putting them to practice, after all, proper preparation prevents poor performance.
Rachel is an Austin blogger, educator, mom, wife, young breast cancer survivor writing about health, saving money, and living a happy life in Austin, Texas.
Rachel has written for HuffPost and Hometalk and has been featured on KXAN, Studio 512, Fox 7 Austin, and CBS Austin.